What Have I Become

I started out as a freshly graduated university student. I had never had a ‘real’ job before. Note: I don’t count being GS camp counselor, class grader, or lab researcher a ‘real’ job—they were way too cushy.
Although I had been lucky enough to have done some traveling before, I really was unprepared for coming to my first African country. In my mind I thought I packed myself up before to do my senior year of high school in Italy, I can do a year in Rwanda. I spent a summer working in London; I can do a year in Rwanda. HA. As much as I might have lived alone and far from my family, nothing had really prepared me for what I was going to go through—and I’m not sure that anything could have prepared me for it.
I was (am) a type A personality that likes to be in control. I like logic. I like set rules, schedules and plans (maybe that is why I was good at ChemE). As much as I thought I was flexible, I had never truly been tested.
All I knew about Rwanda was what I had read about in the various books before I came-and lets be honest not much of it was ‘good’.
I dreamed of meeting some nice ex-pat people, becoming great friends.
And most importantly I really thought I would only do it for a year (hence why I hadn’t really considered the Peace Corps because their commitment is longer).

Now look at me-
I’ve become hardened from dealing with different types of people in various situations (though I have yet to get full control over my crying). I totally feel comfortable getting on a bus for over 24 hours to get to my destination. I still like rules and logic, but I’m learning how to cope with all that logic and planning being flushed down the drain on a daily basis. I’ve learned so much not only about Rwanda, Africa, and the world by really following various news outlets [I admit I have become an even bigger news junkie than I was before I came, I realized before I was only a JV news junkie]. Based on my volunteer time I realized that my life style as a volunteer didn’t really mesh well with a lot of the big NGO ex-pat employees here and our experiences were much different, I actually got a long better with Africans and other volunteer types.
And probably the most important thing that I have become is married. In my first year I met a Ugandan guy and we stayed together and are now married and come October we will have been married for a year.

It’s strange to think back to senior year at UD and the following months at home, because surely when I thought about my time in Rwanda and what I hoped to accomplish I had not thought that this would be the path I would be on…but here I am.

Stay tuned in the next few months to read about my reflections about living here for 3 years and my thoughts about moving back to the US..

Resurrection of the Blog

I started this blog before I came to Rwanda in December 2008. In my first year of volunteering I had tried to update frequently, in my second year it gradually tailed off, and in my 3rd year I’ve done barely enough to qualify as blogging.
Many people say that in the beginning it is easier because you are doing something different and experiencing ‘new’ things that can always be blogged about, but as one stays in a place longer it can be difficult to blog about ‘every day’ events that aren’t unusual anymore.

Many times I have thought to revamp this and I write an entry but then I don’t have internet and I never upload the post. Not to mention I just got lazy. That is going to stop now.

After being a volunteer from Dec 2008 to May 2010 and then a paid-worker from June 2010 to now, my stay in Rwanda is finally coming to an end, or at least the end is in sight.
Just recently we actually purchased my return ticket (when I returned to Rwanda in December 2009 I came on a one-way ticket).

In the time I have been in Rwanda I have experienced a lot and grown. I want to take my remaining time to really reflect on what I have become and the ups and down of living here.

I won’t begin on the ups and downs of life here because that is going to have to take many posts and I’ll need to be more in the mood to dig into that can of worms. But for sure I can start on the “what have I become.”

Find Us The Man U Game

This April marked the third genocide commemoration period that I have been in Rwanda. Every year they commemorate the Genocide. There is an official week of mourning and remembering, but for 3 months commemoration ceremonies are still held all over the country.
My first year I was here I attended a service with my Headmistress. It was interesting. I learned and experienced a lot being there, but it was not something that I really wanted to repeat again. I know how emotional I get and I didn’t care to put myself into that situation because I don’t want to take away from the Rwandans by being a spectacle (aka hysterically crying). The second year I went to Zanzibar (where I got engaged). This year we stayed in Rwanda the whole time. School is closed during this time (it is the break between first and second term).
During the first week Kigali takes on a very somber mode and most people don’t do much other than attend services and memorials. Also all TVs and Radios are tuned in to Rwanda TV, the national station. No entertainment is allowed. And I mean none. On the 6th day, which was a Saturday, Manchester United was playing. Maxon had told me that we wouldn’t be able to find a place to watch, but I really didn’t believe it. Well he was right. We went to bars, restaurants, and even fancy hotels, but none of them could play the game for us.
I realize the need to remember and commemorate, but at that time all we could think of was that we wanted to watch that game and we couldn’t.

So in case you hadn’t figured it out by now, but we are pretty big Manchester United fans. Every week we gotta watch. We got to the same place and sit with the same people. People even ‘know’ us there. For instance when I come in and Maxon is already seated sometimes I have difficulty finding him. Lucky for us workers of the sports bar will point him out to me. And last night just some random guy pointed to where he was..haha.. (This is good for me because a group of black men with shaved heads sure makes it difficult to pick out the head you want)

BALD

Maxon doesn’t have all his hair. It is very common here with a group of the men, even as teenagers. It ‘starts’ with just having big foreheads (that they are soo proud of)..
Well recently my nephew, who is a 12 yr-old, made this comment: He wondered how Maxon could be going bald, because being bald is for old people, and having children is what makes you old, and since we don’t have children he can’t be old.

Gotta love kids. They do have the best logic.

SAT Prep Class

Although the past six weeks did not have me teaching my normal night classes, I did take part in teaching a SAT Prep Class for some high school students of one of the private schools here.
Mostly I did prep work for the English section, but I did do one session for the math section. This was a lot of fun for me because it gave me the chance to interact with bright young students, compared to the adults that I normally teach. It was also neat to talk American universities with them and talk about where to go, what to major in, ect. It was also great because I overheard 3 girls talking about the show Vampire Diaries and then I mentioned that my husband and I watch it, well this made the girls crazy because they could not imagine that married couples would watch it..haha, what do they know.
Overall I think the prep course went well, but who knows until they take it, but it was interesting to see how over the weeks they did become more familiar with the types of questions (it was the first time they ever will have to take a multiple choice test).
And by this I mean that we had to teach 'basic' strategies for discarding some of the choice quickly, when to guess, when not to guess, ect.

It really took me back to high school..haha

Telenovela

Since I originally came to Rwanda I noticed that many Spanish (often Mexican) soap operas are very commonly played on various television stations.
My first year in Rwanda I was introduced to a show that is called Storms Over Paradise. After that came Hidden Passions, Shades of Sin, Don’t Mess with an Angle, just to name a few. I also realized that it wasn’t just me that was watching them. Many of the Rwandans and Ugandans watched, and not only did the women watch, the men enjoyed them very much too.
Recently one of the only channels in English (STVE2) started playing them too. For the last six weeks I was not working and therefore became glued to the TV. Not only did I decide at times to not leave my house in order to watch the next episode, but I even organized my cooking lunch and dinner times around my favorite ones. At the moment Sorteligio, Catalina y Sebastian, I am Your Master (Soy tu duena) and another one that I can’t remember the name of, are getting all my attention.
Strangely enough they are just too good to be true. I know they are so over the top, but somehow that is what makes them that much more appealing.
I think that the US needs to get on the bandwagon and start airing them dubbed..because I think a lot of Americans would enjoy them..haha

6 months

As of April 1st Maxon and I have been married 6 months!

yea for us:)

I had wanted to post this on FB yesterday but then I thought that many of my friends would think it was a joke, but its serious.

Who knew when I came to Rwanda that I would be here now?

Who knew when I graduated UD that I would be here now?

I for one sure didn't know, but with that said there is no other place I would rather be, and no other person I would rather share this with:)

Things I made-Pictures

Keepin' Busy- arts n crafts

Since leaving FAWE and only working a few hours a day I have tried to stay busy. Although there are some nice places to go to in Kigali, most of these places require spending money, not to mention it gets old going there all the time, so I try to find things to do at home.
So far I have hand-sewn a quilt and pillow cases. Crocheted a throw-blanket, ponchos for my nieces and now I’m working on making a dress for my niece and a sweater-vest for myself.
I got the fabric from the market. ‘African’ fabric is great and I have had some things made from tailors here, but that doesn’t solve my problem of boredom. So I went to some tailors in the market and asked for the scraps, from these I pieced together a quilt. In hind sight I think I should have tried to make some pattern with the squares instead of keeping it random, but live and learn, right?

Now ponchos are ‘in’ here at the moment and I see women wearing them so I figured I would make them since they seemed easy. They were pretty easy but after I learned from my mom there was an easier way. Live and learn.(also note that once my sister-in-laws saw them they said they wanted them, and I’m sure if they could have fit in the ones I made they would have taken them from the girls..haha)

The throw blanket was just for fun and I really love it, can’t wait to have it back at home during winter. I can curl up on the couch and watch TV with it..
As I finish my other projects I will add more pictures to show what I’ve been up to.

Is she pregnant yet??

Recently my father-in-law was speaking to my husband. Every so often he calls to say they need more sugar, which after enough calls results in him sending money to buy sugar or getting someone else to do it.

Well this past call was just too good not to share.

His father had called to say they still needed sugar. After discussing that for a bit the father than asked if she(as in me) was a little bit pregnant yet*. Of course Maxon said no. The father then asked if there was any problem, which Maxon responded with, “no, there is no problem.”(the dad referring to one of us not ‘working’)

Then Maxon said actually there is a problem, if I don’t have money for sugar how can I have money for a baby.
Now this next part is good-the father then said oh well if that’s it, then we don’t need the sugar, don’t worry about the sugar.

HAHAHAHAHA

This is the conversation that Maxon told me about when he woke up from a nap.
For some people who don’t understand a culture where producing children is what matters, and yes that’s how they see it as, producing. Here many people, certainly the older generations believe that the reason for marriage is to have children. Only. It’s just that one is doing a community service by having children. Children bring you status, not to mention little servants and/or workers. Many people only become married when one is already on the way. So you can imagine how strange they think it is to get married and not get pregnant right away.

This isn’t the first time we’ve been asked, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. See this is how conversations go here. Nice to meet you. How are you? Are you married? Do you have children? Why not? (is there something wrong with one of you? Is what they are really thinking, and some even say it)

*I don’t know how one can be a little bit pregnant. Either you are or you aren’t, right?

also note this is just one conversation I am sharing, there have been too many to count regarding this subject...

Grasshopper/locusts, who knows what

There is a time of year here when these green things go crazy. I remember one night as my colleague and I were leaving the parliament there were SWARMS of these insects flying all over the place. The next morning when I returned to work the ground/walls/everywhere was covered. You couldn’t help but step on them. They even managed to get into the elevators.
Now what you might enjoy, like I did, was seeing all the workers catching them and putting them into used plastic bottles and just any old bag around. Even little children were climbing around the outside of the walls of the parliament to pick-them. (note I’m not sure why the parliament is the go-to spot for them, but I think it’s because of whatever bulbs they use in the lamp posts around the grounds)
After they are collected they sell them. If you go to the market you find huge sacks of them available, and they are quite expensive.
Well one day in class some of my lady students made a comment that as a good wife I need to bring some home and prepare them for my husband. I smiled of course and said ok yah. Well the next day these ladies were serious. At the end of class I had 3 members of parliament running around the room and catching them for me to put into 2 plastic water bottles. When the bottles were filled I thanked them and went on my way. Since I knew that I would never prepare them myself I decided to take them to my 4 nieces and nephews who had recently moved from Uganda to Kigali.
When I brought those water bottles out in front of the kids I have never seen such excitement. I said I didn’t know how to do it, but the 12 year old quickly said don’t worry he knew. I then watched these 4 little kids de-wing, de-leg them. We were left with maybe a half an inch to inch long body. Then they cut up some onions for extra flavor. They then told me you put them in the fry pan, but no oil is necessary because the bodies give off good oil. Then we cooked the little suckers up.
I didn’t give in and eat one, but I did love watching the kids eat some. We had used one water bottle and I wanted to make sure they left some for their mom, but they couldn’t contain themselves. In the end they ate them all. When their mom finally did come home she saw what they had and even she got super excited, so the kids prepared some more for her.
For sure this is something I won’t forget.
Oh and I should mention that the next day in class my students asked me about how it went and I told them and they were so excited.
This was just the beginning of the amazing relationship that I have been enjoying with my nieces and nephews.. more adventures with them to come, not to mention pictures.

Teaching English to Adults

My first year and a half I was teaching chemistry to 14-20-something year olds. Most of these students knew very little English, though I do have to admit that many of my students were much better than most other students in the country. With that said I battled teaching a subject to them in a language that they didn’t fully know. Not to mention dealing with normal teenage issues.
Teaching adults has been like a breath of fresh air. For one the class size is smaller, normally smaller than 20, average around 12-15 students. Although attendance tends to be an issue, I find teaching them much better than teaching the teenagers. Most of the adults actually want to be in the class and want to learn and understand why they need to learn. The only major problem is that outside of class most students don’t practice or have any chance to use the English that they are learning. Clearly that then creates a challenge for them to really get a handle on English, but I know they try their best and so do I.
I’ve taught a few classes and even been lucky enough to teach members of parliament including the speaker of parliament. What I liked most was how intelligent many of the adults are and once some level of English was grasped the discussions could really get good. It has also given me a chance to learn a lot more about Rwanda since I try to get the students to talk about what they know.
I did greatly enjoy my time teaching in secondary school, but for the time being I’m happy doing this adult education. The only thing I wish was different was the hours. For some time it was 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours at night, but now only at night, so during the day I’m free while at night I work. Not the most ideal situation, but its paying the bills and more, so I’ll continue for now.

Oh another great perk is that my first classes were students of Bank of Kigali, where I have my bank account, so whenever I go withdraw money I get great treatment..hehe:)

Getting Married in Kampala

In case you ever thought that getting married in a foreign country is difficult, well let me tell you, it is.
Well this is not entirely true. Although the process is laid out in front of you it is surprising how many things can come up along the way.
For us the biggest obstacle was obtaining a document that stated I have never been married and/or not currently married at this time, which many of you may or may not know, but this document doesn’t really exist in the United States. So like any good foreigner living abroad I went to my US embassy to find out what to do. They had this pre-fab document that I filled out and signed and the consular notarized it. This document is saying that I am swearing that I am not married (the US government cannot guarantee that this is true).
Along with all the other requested documents, we sent it on up to Kampala. A few days or weeks later when we had thought things were going well we found out from their state’s attorney that this document from the US embassy will not be accepted. They do not accept from any foreign US embassy, only from the United States. Now I tried to explain that since I had been residing in Rwanda, I can’t really get this document from the US, let alone that this doesn’t exist.
Well, where this is a will, there is a way.
With my mom’s help(BIG help) and frequent calls and trips to the local county registrar’s office we were able to get some letter saying that I have not been married in Bucks County. Now the hardest part was that earlier I had been mugged and lost my State ID, so proving that I was ‘from’ PA was not so easy. But somehow we found a photocopy of my ID that they were willing to accept. It should be noted that I even called from Rwanda to stress how I’m not in the country, hence my mom doing it for me. After the county issued this letter, my mom then drove to Harrisburg to get a certificate of something from the state’s attorney saying the county is allowed to issue the document, essentially it was a letter with a really nice stamp and seal, and we all know in Africa they love their stamps and seals.
In the end these letters were DHLed to me and then forwarded on to Kampala. After our photos had been posted and therefore formally announcing our intentions to get married(yes they do a downgraded form of reading the bans to see if anyone objects) we were allowed to get married.
Since both of us work we had to do it on a weekend, but wait they don’t work on weekends, so a Friday it was. We decided to go for October 1st. I kindof like it 10.1.10 pretty cool date if I might say so myself. We took a bus up to Kampala on Thursday. Friday mid-morning we went and waited and found out we were the only ones getting married at that time (sometimes they do multiple weddings at once). The lady who officiated even was like I’m sorry I forgot I have another meeting so we have to make this quick. Literally under 5 minutes. HA. gotta love it. Maxon’s best friend and one of his sisters were our witnesses.
On Saturday we went out to his village to see his parents and other sisters and nieces and nephews who were around to celebrate with them.
Then we rushed back on Saturday night on Kampala Coach to return to Rwanda.
Well Kampala Coach-great buses. Real good for sleeping, unless there is a preacher man who wants to stand in the isle and preach starting at like 11 pm(we boarded at 10pm). After much arguments, and I mean arguments that both of us were personally involved in, the man FINALLY ceased and sleep could happen.
Overall a quick little trip up to Uganda, but an important one.

My New World

I started this blog to follow my year volunteering for WorldTeach Rwanda in 2009. As many of you know after my first year I renewed my contract for a second year at the same secondary school.
What some of you might not know is how that second year went. Due to a series of events I had to resign because I could no longer work properly with the administration. So instead of working for a second year I only did 5 months. Now what stopped me from immediately returning to America was the fact that on my holiday in April when I went to Zanzibar my boyfriend proposed to me, to which I said yes. Luckily my school did not have anyone who would be moving into the house I where I was staying so they let me continue on until I found a new place and a new job.
Many people might think it’s easy to find a Rwanda and/or Africa being a white person, but this is not true. It is true that there are some big time jobs that make bank, but most of those jobs need specifically qualified people and normally recruit from abroad. Fortunately for me before I had come to Rwanda the first year I did a teaching English as a foreign language course, so I was able to get a job teaching English to adults. So far I have taught bank employees, members of parliament, lawyers, and many more.
In the meantime my fiancé and I had planned to get married. Something that we had hoped would not take long to organize stretched into many months. After a lot of paperwork and shuffling we were able to get married in Kampala on October 1, 2010.
Unlike 2 years ago when I went home for Christmas, this past Christmas and New Years we went to Uganda. We spent 11 days on a great vacation that really rested us up for the new school year that was about to start.
As of now I’m living in my husband’s school who provides their teachers rooms. Although this might not be ideal, it is free, and let me tell you free goes a LONG way. I normally work 4 days a week for 2 hours year day and this goes on 6 week cycles(if there is need for me, that is).
AND--2 weeks ago we submitted the VISA paperwork to the US embassy here in Kigali for him to come to America.
I have decided to start up this blog again to chronicle not only what we’re doing now, but also highlight some of the big events that happened in the recent past that I never wrote about.
Stay tuned for our adventures of getting married, moving-in together, and of course the trials and tribulations of doing paperwork for the US government..haha:)